He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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