man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
