She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
