I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
