also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize