thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
