Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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