OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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