it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
