i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
