No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
