Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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