Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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