woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
