drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
