He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
