First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
People in love make me want to vomit
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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