i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
