you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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