I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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