How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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