You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
