What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
