you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
