I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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