we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
