That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Terrible idea I love it
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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