He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
