I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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