ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
third nipple confirmed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
