apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
