Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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