I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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