Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
A bitchslap is in order.
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