I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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