Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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