Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
