VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
