Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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