you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
