she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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