If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
