living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize