i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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