Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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