If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
