That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
