People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
