Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
