I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
