She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
